National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) Description; Trailers (6) Youtube Videos (0) Posters (2) Quotes (100) Comments (15) Change Logs; National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Quotes 32550. Where are you gonna put a tree that big? Clark: Bend over and I'll show you! National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) Quotes,Images for christmas vacation quotes. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989),The Griswold family's plans for a big family Christmas predictably turn into a big disaster. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. Aunt Bethany Quotes in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) Share. Browse more character quotes from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) Share. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. The best quotes from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989). Add more and vote on your favourites!

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) Quotes,Images for christmas vacation quotes

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989),The Griswold family's plans for a big family Christmas predictably turn into a big disaster.

1.
Clark: Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

2.
Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Lampoon

3.
Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy out!

4.
Merry Christmas! SHitter was full.

5.
I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.

6.
Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.


7.
Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

Christmas Vacation Rant Quote


8.
Hey kids, look a deer!

9.
Clark: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

10.
Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on its way in from New York City.
Eddie: [after a pause] You serious, Clark?

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Randy Quaid has appeared in over 90 films, but many of his most quotable lines are as “Cousin Eddie” in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. A thorn in Clark Griswold’s side, Eddie shows up unexpectedly at Clark’s house lighting ceremony and the merriment begins. Thank you, John Hughes, for giving Eddie some of the funniest holiday lines ever:

National Lampoon's Vacation Quotes Funny

  • Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.
  • I don’t know if I should go sailin’ down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
  • Last season he was a pixie dust spreader on the Tilt-A-Whirl. He thinks that next year he’ll be guessing people’s weight or barkin’ for the yak lady.
  • If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin’ that hockey player.
  • If this gets dented then my hair just ain’t gonna look right.
  • She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don’t know.
  • Merry Christmas. Sh*tter was full!
  • Oh, he’s just yakkin’ on a bone.
  • Oh, no, that there is an RV.
  • You don’t want him around if you’re wearing short pants, you know what I mean?
  • Your company kill all them people in India not too long ago?
  • If it isn’t too much I’d like to get somethin’ for you Clark, somethin’… real nice.
  • Clark, I’d like to try to fumigate this here chair, it’s a good quality item. If you don’t mind my askin’, how much did she set you back?
  • Save the neck for me, Clark.
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